My Fears
Sometimes at nightI lay awake
and I wonder,
oh I wonder
how much more I can take
I shut my eyes tight
My mind filled with my fears
My heart races,
thumping it races
with my screams in my ears
Not those trivial terrors
those childish frights
not needles and spiders
ooh spiders
not heights
It's the horrors of a girl
whose grown up way too fast
of failure and disappointing loved ones
terrified of those loved ones
and of course fears of the past
Failure
of not being able to care for them
for my sister and mother,
oh yes, my mother too
of not being able to tend to their every whim
Disappointing loved ones
the fear of doing wrong
of missing something, or crying
no it was not allowed, not crying
and of taking too long
The past
most don't fear the past
but I fear it, and it's secrets,
secrets of what once was
even though it never did last
But as we all know,
the last is not least
what I fear the most
the most, the most
like a loosely caged beast
I fear it because
it would mean failure and wrong doing
and it's happened before
it's a battle I'm still loosing
I fear that one day
I will lose my mind
That I'll go insane
so very insane
and leave all else behind
It seems silly
Surely it hasn't happened then
It has before, and it will again
oh it will again
and all I can do, is wait for the end
So here I wait, as I type
there is a reason I type my fears this key
this key to my mind and my heart
both my mind and my heart
It's all a simple question you see
Should you?
Could you?
Would you?
Save me?
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