Wasn't My Choice Anyway.

I thought the pain could grow no more
It hurt so bad and I felt so sad
I thought things through so desperately
Would it satisfy? Killing me.
I stand today a stronger being
Knowing the answer that I couldn't find
I will hurt and I will cry
I will be alone, but I musn't die
In the end it's plain to see
My death, that's not up to me
There are others who have a say
And they'd rather me stay here anyway
I'm outnumbered in a vote that shouldn't exist
And this is why I stand here, smiling like this
I cannot say I am brave
I didn't have a choice, no say
I live a post-suicidal person
Because I know that it's not my position
I don't have the right to make that final choice
And change the lives of every person I've touched
Pain or no pain, I'll see it through
It's up to others what I do
And they want me, they need me, I have to stay
It wasn't really my choice anyway.

Poem by k-dawg

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