Seriously-
Every day is starting to be routine-Wake up, pop the pill, fake a smile
For a while, I was really better
But all of a sudden, it stopped
And I don’t have an explanation
Because no one sees how hard I try
I work so hard, but it’s worth shit
In the end, I’ll have lost it all
Every battle fought, every tear shed
My heart is much to heavy
And my head spins out of control
Has the whole world turned around?
No, I guess that’s just my life, big surprise
The love, the beauty, the wonder and joy
It seems to have all disappeared
But hey, it’s to be expected with me
The depression, the pills, the doctors, the knife
It makes me hide away more
I’m not good enough, or strong enough
Don’t tell me I’m above this
No, I can’t even convince myself I’m fine
The weight of the world slams my shoulders
As if I wasn’t already broken enough
How would you like to feel like that?
Take a walk in my own shoes for a bit
How long would you last- a minute?
You all think I’m so strong and brave
But I’m small and meak, such a coward
Heartless, and I don’t think when I should
So I build up the walls to lock you out
I prefer to be lost inside myself
Amazing how you can’t penetrate the blockade
Maybe you aren’t trying hard enough
Don’t think you have to save me
Did you ever hear me ask for help?
No, I don’t need your pity or your charity
I’ll save myself this time like always
Why do you think I don’t smile anymore?
Here’s a tiny hint- the Zoloft and the docs
Yeah, they don’t even help like I thought they would
The first effect has started to wear off
I never once asked for your guidance
My heart has spilled out across the floor
Because it was all that I had to give
Take it or leave it, I don’t care anymore
Everybody will dance and sing when I’m gone
Laugh, joke, forget about the tears
This is how it goes, would you have guess?
I’m not surprised at the ignorance of everybody.
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