Do Not Touch

Please don’t touch me like that
My heart picks up pace and my eyes start to flood
I don’t like it when you put your hand there
Talk to me, love me, don’t use me like that
I’m shy and lonely, I’m fragile and willing to believe
Then when you head towards me with that look
I can’t breath, I’m terrified, I hate you when you look at me
Don’t call me pretty, don’t talk about my body
Please, my hands are shaking and my eyes are holding tight
I won’t speak up to you, I’ll laugh and agree, I’ve never whispered no
If you keep this up I’ll run as fast as my paralyzed legs will let me go
Nothings made me this way, or maybe it has…
The time he and I were alone in my room
I still cry when I remember the night I lost a friend
Strike one, I lost a part of me
That boy kept touching my body and kissing my face
He called every night and doused me with compliments
But he never asked the question I had been promised
Strike two, I lost my trust in words
The night I couldn’t walk, I stumbled into the car
He wrapped his arms around me and promised not to tell
I thought I said no but the voice persisted and I gave in
Strike three, everyone disgust me
Now when you look at me in that way I want to cry
I don’t know how to say no, or why you can’t just love me
I want to love, I’m terrified and I want to cry at the thought
I liked you a lot, and I’m scared of losing that each time you offer me something
Give me time, this may take awhile
I’m young and I act awfully trusting but
That voice of doubt screams so loud that it’s a wonder I sleep
Time, lovely, time
Soon I promise to stop shaking.

Poem by Conor Beag.

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