A Glimpse of Paradise

The room gets darker and darker
As the red numbers burn into my eyes
5:37PM, announces my digital clock

The sudden silence echoes back and forth
Through the icy air
(The window is open again
But I can’t seem to coax a blizzard from the February sky)
As Chester's screams and shouts abruptly halt
And the CD drags to a stop

I try to breathe the wintry air
But it refuses to make its way to my chest
I try to soothe my aching heart
But it refuses to stop beating so hard against the tightening rubber band
I try to appease the white-hot fire burning inside
But something keeps poking it back to life
I try to cry
But the walls refuse to crumble, the dam refuses to break

So I lie still and I close my eyes
Blocking out Amy Lee's magenta-streaked hair and excessively black-rimmed eyes
Observing me from the glossy paper on my wall
I focus on my tingling fingers and toes
Reveling in the thin ice that is my skin
(It feels pale, and tender, and plastic
If I drag my fingernails along its surface
It would break
Like the plastic wrap on the pale, dead flesh
Otherwise known as Maple Leaf Prime Chicken Breast
On sale at Zehrs, this week only, for $19.99)
I've lost track of my breathing

And suddenly my lungs are filled with air
And I haven't felt so alive in months

I hold on to that breath
For as long as I can
I don't want to let it go
I may never breathe again

Slowly it leaves my chest
I don't fight it
And my body sees it has doomed itself
And my mind goes blank

I lie on my bed
Not moving
Not thinking
Not breathing
And I can almost pretend that I'm dead

Poem by glittersmile

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