Because I Was Alone

I apologize
after all, it’s all I can do now
I was alone in this hell of an apartment
with no one to stop me
no one to here my screams
so alone... I could drag out the suffering

I apologize
because someone will have to find this mess one day
I imagine my body will have started decomposing by then
maybe that wouldn’t be true
if you just gave me a call
so alone... no one to talk me out of it

I apologize
to myself
I had so much to live for
if I only stepped outside
but I just couldn’t
so alone... there would be no one waiting for me

I apologize
for this ultimate mistake
that seems like the only way out at the moment
I know these are only words
but I love you
so alone... maybe if I see you before I’m done writing, I might change my mind

goodbye

Poem by awkward silence

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