What's Happening to Me?
My life is slowly spiraling downwards.I’m drowning and the surface is iced over.
I don’t know who I am
And I’m not sure who I want to be.
I don’t want to try anymore
But I’m so sick of just coasting.
I’m longing for someone
But they don’t want me.
I’m confused
I’m cold
My times are changing
And I’m trying to swim upstream.
Why can’t I turn back?
I’m falling and there’s no one to save me.
My empty well only echoes with silence
Get me a therapist
Get me a friend
Get me a lover
Get me someone who cares.
Who am I
And what am I doing to myself?
I can’t take it
I’m so tired
The person I want to be
Keeps flashing in front of my eyes
Then leaving
Taunting me with her bright colours
Why can’t I be her?
It looks so damn easy
To be everything
Everyone wants me to be
To do everything
Everyone wants me to do
I’m cornered
I’m surrounded
Alone in the middle
Of their lonely little pit
And I just can’t entertain them
Am I boring them?
I’m comparing a lost shoe
To world hunger
And I don’t deserve it
I don’t deserve anything anymore
I don’t even deserve my insides
But they were already taken away
And left with a pain
That never leaves me be
Can’t you just let me be good enough?
No more can my smiles be real
And I can’t figure myself out
I’m the mystery flavoured Dum Dum
That you always got
I’m the thousand piece jig saw
That you left in the box
And the picture on the box is so much prettier
Than me
So much easier to solve
Can’t I just stop talking?
My mirror, mirror on the wall
Tells me falsest things of them all
Alone, I am an individual
But together, I’m just another
We are the minority
And I’m just another rat in the line
Do I disgust you?
We are her
We are them
We are he
He is us
He is she
She is me
I am me
I am her
I am them
I am we
And who is that?
Do you want me
Because I’m who you want to be?
Impossible.
No one wants to be me.
Even myself longs to escape
This being,
This thing
Let me out.
The lock is on the outside
But I have the key.
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