It's Risky Business Beneath This Vanilla Sky

“He’s so peculiar.”
Well, certainly he is.
His mental state is far beyond the reach
Of even his fellow scientologists.
“What a great thespian!”
“How undeniably attractive!”
But that doesn’t make up for the fact
That his favorite sport is couch-jumping.
“What amazing versatility!”
Yes, yes it’s true.
Tom Cruise can take on any role,
Except that of a human being.