That Lovely Suicide

I'm depressed and I know it
but still I'll never show it.
I think about that suicide
It will end this long, painful ride.
I've tried it all to get it out,
I've ran, I've cried, I've cut, I've shout.
But the stress and pain never goes away,
Not even for a single day.
I do it all, all over again,
To see if this round I'll win.
But in the end my thoughts turn back
To that lovely suicide.